First let me caution all readers that I need to reach people where they are, and I will do so however necessary. I am truly sorry for this tragedy that took place, and in my efforts to stop future such tragedies, I do not want this to be confused for me being unsympathetic to the victims, or in any way “victim blaming”.
I am not at all surprised that certain bottom feeding female misandrists (who think themselves “feminists”) have taken this tragedy as an opportunity to attack their political rivals, ranging from MRAs to guns rights advocates. Michelle Malkin did an excellent job of putting perspective on what actually happened and showing that this had little to do with misogyny or guns rights, and more to do with a young loner going mad. I see no need to repeat what she explained, so I’ll put a link below. Instead, I would like to talk about how this sort of thing can be prevented in future. I know that I run the risk of being accused of “victim blaming”, or perhaps even of sympathizing with the killer, but that won’t dissuade me. I will first offer advice to young men who find themselves in a situation similar to his. In so doing, I am trying to stop the kind of irrational thought patterns than can lead to these tragedies. Second, I’d like to advise anyone who knows someone who could be in the same situation as Elliot Rodgers, and thus could potentially make a difference for the better.
- Are you a young man, alone, rejected? Have you tried being a “gentleman” and have found that young women have no interest in that? Then read on.
I’ve been there myself. I was a loner in my early to mid-twenties by choice. My head was in the clouds, and I planned to go overseas where the grass would be greener. Then I would break out, socially. Well, it wasn’t as simple as I thought it would be, and I too myself disgusted by the reality that young women often are attracted to the wrong types of men. Before you start hating women though, understand this. They aren’t ALL like that. Most are. But then, most men are. The truth is that most people think with what’s between their legs, rather than what’s between their ears. The only real difference is that men are often proud of that, whereas women try to hide it for fear of being labelled “sluts”.
If this reality has angered you to the point that you are about to snap, consider this. None of them are worth throwing your life away! Are you really going to let some stupid ditsy girl who goes out with some obnoxious jerk because he excites her lady parts, drive you to ruin your own life?! She will be hurt several times by the wrong kind of guy, and later regret her bad decisions. But if you do what Elliot Rodgers did, you’ll make your life just as worthless as they already think you are. Instead, remember the old saying “the best revenge is living well”. How do you live well when you feel so hopeless?
Here’s a good start. Confucius once said, “Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.” In my darkest hour, I could not forget injuries, but fortunately, I also remembered those who were kind to me. Whenever I felt frustrated, I would drown such bitter thoughts instead with thoughts on how I could appreciate those who deserved it. I would show all the more gratitude to my few friends. If you have nobody at all, then consider those less fortunate. I know, it’s the furthest thing from your mind right now. But you need to do kindness now more than ever, if not for others, than for yourself. Maybe volunteer at a homeless shelter. Hopefully you’ll meet people who will really put things in perspective for you. If nothing else, someone will finally appreciate you. Then it’s time to branch out. You might find another article of mine helpful, “Friendship vs. Friendzone” (link also below).
- Do you know someone who seems sad, withdrawn, and in need of a friend? Do you want to reach out, but don’t know how?
I was fortunate to have a few very kind people when I was in need, and those people I will never forget. You may go to college with, or work with, someone who seems rather sad and alone. Maybe the person is a nerd. Maybe the person is the dark, brooding type. If the person is nice, but very shy, they might need you, and you might be able to make a difference. Start by just being friendly. Just say “hi” to them and smile a little. Little by little, make some conversation. If you are warm and open to them, sooner or later, they will come to you when they need it the most. For now, just make them feel comfortable. When they come to you, remember that they may not feel comfortable opening up to a lot of people. They may want to speak to you alone. Don’t be alarmed, that’s just part of them being shy. Just be there and listen. Mostly listen. Give advice where you can. Don’t let anyone tell you that this person is “weird” or “creepy”. You could be the one to change this person’s life for the better. In return, you’ll make a loyal friend for life, and you never know when you might be the one in need.
Now that I’m through with the advice, I just want to add this final disclaimer. On #1, I was in no way judging the victims of the tragedy. I have never met the two women and four men who were slain, or the many injured, and I have no idea if they were anything like Elliot Rodgers described. I only know how he perceived them to be, and if you are trying to talk down a mad man, you have to get into his head. I just hope that someone will read this, and think twice about making a terrible mistake. When one tragedy happens, there seems to be a pattern of copy cats (like the school shootings). I sincerely hope a pattern does not develop here.
This article gives the facts, straightforward
Michelle Malkin putting this in perspective. Her site “twitchy” can be a little confusing at first. She show twitter conversations and puts paragraphs in between to build context. If you aren’t familiar with twitter, it might look like a digital mess at first, but read through the tweets.
Elliot Rodger’s final video:
My “Friendship vs. Friendzone”